Running with the Devil @ Lovelle Canyon, NV

I love every chance I get to run with Calico Racing out of Las Vegas.  When I lived there from 2006-2011, I would be a part of every event with them.  Most people would question why anyone would want to run in the Las Vegas heat the end of June.  While I will admit it is hotter than most would like (and usually under high humidity for the desert since it is quickly approaching monsoon season), I will take the dry desert heat over the humidity of the south any day of the week.

Running with the Devil is usually run at Lake Mead.  After taking a couple of year off from this race, 2016 would be the reincarnation of this event, this time at Lovelle Canyon (about 30 minutes west of Las Vegas on Blue Diamond).  This venue is typically the home of Labor of Love so I have been out here many times over my running career.  I typically will run a shorter distance and them stick around and take over an aide station to help out with the longer distance runners when I am with Calico Racing.  This event was no different.  And this time around the event had a 100 miler, so I would be able to run both Saturday and Sunday (10k both days).

My weekend started off early with a 5:30 check-in so I could help with packet pickup.  This is always a favorite of mine as it often allows me the only time I get to see some of my running family.  My race would start at 8:00 both days.  Saturday would also bring time to work the aide station at the 10k turn around for all of the full marathon, 50 mile and 100 mile runners.  We had a bit of a bee issue so it made for some excitement for this runner/volunteer.

Sunday was even more exciting as I was able to be at the finish line to witness one of two finishers coming across the finish line of the 100 miler.  This guy was amazing.  Geffory Foote with a 24:12;28 finish time.  This guy killed the course and was a sight to see for sure.  Scott Gilson also finished with 26:32:00, the second runner to stick with the whole 100 mile course.  Both amazing men to watch out on the course, and inspiring to see.

As always, I just feel blessed to finish these things.  My training has fallen to the side and has swung wide of my path the last year of life.  I took this weekend as a time to celebrate with friends and get back into things.  Saturday stats:  1:53:11 to earn 2nd in AG (there there 2 other ladies in my AG that scored in the top 3 overall).  There were 31 total runners on Saturday.  Sunday stats:  2nd in AG again (please note there were only 9 runners today total, making me 5th female overall).

I am proud to call myself a finisher of Running with the Devil 2016.  Now here are some of the amazing faces both on the course as runners and as volunteers (with our personal selfie stalker of a race photographer).

On a side note:  I am just glad all of the runners and volunteers were able to finish and leave the course safely on Sunday before the fire department had to close the area due to a fire.  Saturday was difficult with all of the smoke from some of the Southern California fires.  You could almost see it like coastal fog while you were out on the course.  I have never had to use my inhaler so often during any event as I did over these two days.

Please visit www.calicoracing.com for future race information!

SATURDAY

Before the race Saturday

With Deinse and our personal selfie
 stalker, Marshall

With RD Joyce and personal selfie stalker, Marshall



SUNDAY

With Katrina at the start on Sunday.

With Tami.  Ran the half Saturday.
Volunteered Sunday for 5k turn around
aide station and Saturday did packet
pickup with me.

With personal selfie stalker (and course photographer), Marshall

Before Sunday start

With Ruth.  She was the 10k turn around
aide station both days.

Time to wake up and make the change I know I am ready for

I have been telling myself that I am going to be the best version of me I can be to celebrate turning 40 this year. Well, that hasn't happened in the physical sense that can be seen either in a mirror or by others. But something has been brewing inside for the last couple of weeks that has slowly been grinding on me to get up and do something.  So as I lay trying to fall back to sleep at 3am on a Tuesday morning, I let out a big sigh and knew I was ready for the first step to re-finding myself and redefining who I want to be in this next chapter of life.

While there is one specific person I feel has gently, and figuratively slapped me to my senses,  I am not going to name names here because there are so many helping hands that have lifted me up and helped me be the amazingly,  phenomenal woman that I am today.  For everyone who I know who has been there, even if for a minute, please know I  love you and so value your friendship and kindness.

So here it goes.... I have always had body awareness issues. While I have never truly been obese, I have also never really been a healthy weight either.  I have gained and lost the same 30 pounds at least 3 times so far. Now I find myself at the heavy side of my comfort zone again and I keep doing things to self destruct so I just don't have to deal with it again.

There are many reason people choose to not eat the way they know is best. For me, each time I have gained back those deadly 30 pounds it has been for the same reason (and today I am going to say out loud for not only everyone else to hear but also so that I may hear it).  I don't like random physical attention. Now let me explain that. I know we are all going to look at and appreciate other people we are attracted to. I get that, I really do. But I don't like it. We are born the way God intends us to be. Granted He has also made people and technology available that can alter us, in the end each and every one of us needs to find peace in ourselves.

Each time I have lost or found those pesky 30 pounds, I have been able to maintain it for extended periods of time.  Last time I was a light weight was in 2006, when I moved to Las Vegas for a teaching job. Sounds easy enough. It took about 2 years to find almost 20 and I have spent the last year finding the last 10.  For better or for worse, I have been granted with certain physical assets.  Some pay a lot of money so they can have them. Others may spend money to have less of them, usually for health reasons. If you haven't guessed, I am talking about breasts. The lighter I am, the more noticeable they are (unless I just wear a tent or moomoo of some kind ). 

I have never liked or known how to deal with the attention this brings from  random strangers of the male species.  Ashamed is not the right word but it is close. I wish our society would make less sexual clothing.  I wish women would just admit to themselves and embrace their size, no matter what  it is. I hate that I have to try on everything. Womens sizing is so all over the place.  Just tell me the measurements of my jeans like you would for men and let me buy some damn pants without having to try on what seems like 50 pairs to find one that fits.

So back to my original thought pattern for this blog... I don't like confrontation. I don't like to (and this is hard to admit to), I don't know how to say what I am thinking when I am thinking it to the person who needs to hear it. If someone does something that makes you uncomfortable for some reason, they don't know to modify their behavior if I can't find the strength to tell them something is wrong. We all just need to take a meditative breath, and gently plow through what we need to so life can be clear, specific, and enjoyable (or at least liveable).

I don't like my body when I am at a healthy weight because I don't like random strangers looking at me (since they often make unwanted comments). Ladies, please learn to lift each other up in positive ways. Don't hate on someone for something you assume of them. We all have inner struggles. We all need compassion. We all need to feel wanted and accepted for who we are right now in this exact moment. Gentlemen, please don't assume we look like we do for you to look at and make rude or unwanted comments.  Speak to us as you would want you would want your mother, sister, or daughter spoken to. Remember, if you would kick another guys ass for saying something to the woman in your life, the don't say it yourself.

To the person who has helped  me find peace this very early morning, thank you. Your tough love, strength, and commitment to who you are is pushing me to fight back and regain the confidence I needed in myself.  I just hope you will continue to go down the path of life with me, no matter what that represents. Your friendship means the world to me in so many ways, and I love you for believing in me enough to push me towards where you knew I wanted to go and needed to be (even if it was because you were just protecting yourself). I hope you always continue to be a light of strength in my life.

Lord, please let today bring strength, comfort , confidence,  and emotional endurance/healing so that I can do the things I need to do to be strong within myself. Please give me the opportunity to be the person You intended me to be. Please continue to bring people into my life who help me be stronger.  Please give me  the strength to rediscover the amazing,  phenomenal person You intend me to be.